shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
