I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
