does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
