Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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