I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
did you just send me my own nude
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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