What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
