for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
