Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
