Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
