Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
You took a bar mat shot.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
