It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Randomize
