I'm eating all of the evidence.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Randomize
