So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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