but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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