he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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