you would pick up someone in the library
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
You did what with his pubic hair?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
