is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I just want nice things and good sex
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
