am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
