her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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