I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
