question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
