Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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