I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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