is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Randomize
