my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
