I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize