she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize