He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
