dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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