Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
