He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
