i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize
