You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Randomize