How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
