I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
