i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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