Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I just gift wrapped bread.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
