WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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