the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Randomize