it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
