Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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