How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
