I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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