for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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