if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
