im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
