At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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