I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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