which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Randomize
