You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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