i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
