Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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