Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
