So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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