it's too hot outside to masturbate.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
