I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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