he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize