idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
