I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
