do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
