my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
