Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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